All posts by Jesse

Jesse

Samara Weaving and Kyle Gallner get career-best roles in CAROLINA CAROLINE

In Jennifer’s Body, Megan Fox, playing a literal boy-eater, looked at Kyle Gallner, playing a goth classmate, the way a normal teenager might eye a bag of Doritos. There was no ambiguity about whether he would make it to the movie’s halfway mark. It was the continuation of a TV adolescence for Gallner, and part of his transition into scream-king roles in movies like the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, the Scream reboot, the Smile series, and Strange Darling, where the movie’s would-be tricky timeline scramble placed him on both sides of the killer/victim line, depending on the sequence of events. So it’s fair to expect some kind of untoward business when Oliver, played by Gallner in a thin mustache, strolls into a gas station at the outset of Carolina Caroline. Maybe he’ll murder someone. Maybe a hot girl will end him then and there.

Instead, Oliver pulls a shortchange scam on an unsuspecting register jockey. The counter guy’s co-worker Caroline (Samara Weaving) clocks him doing it, even if she doesn’t immediately understand exactly how or why he’s managed to walk away with more money than he came in with. (The movie, impressively, never explains it to the audience outright, either, preferring to tutor through repeated examples.) Caroline approaches Oliver and, as with Gallner, potential danger: Weaving has appeared in just as many horror movies, whether as a scrappy final girl in the Ready or Not movies or calculating killer in movies as varied (if often similarly crappy) as The Babysitter or Over Your Dead Body. Together, they’re a kill-or-be-killed B-movie power couple.

Maybe that’s why it somehow seems softly romantic when Oliver and Caroline really do hook up to enjoy each other’s company, and eventually pull scams together. No stalking, no killing; this is not a horror film. Director Adam Carter Rehmeier has an abiding love of schemes – his previous film was Snack Shack, a coming-of-age comedy where teenage buddies hustle to take over the local pool’s hot dog stand – and rooting them in periods where those schemes can’t rely too heavily on modern technology, specifically the dawns of new decades. Snack Shack takes place in the summer of 1991; Carolina Caroline unfolds about a decade later, when scams and robberies had to be just a little more handcrafted, with a bit more leeway than the post-9/11 surveillance state currently provides.

Oh, and yes: robberies. For a while, Oliver and Caroline work as a con artist pair, like a Southern version of Will Smith and Weaving’s doppelganger Margot Robbie in Focus, and the movie buzzes with romantic danger, aglow in analog-looking colors, particularly the red that often accompanies Caroline’s costumes. Caroline asks for reasoning about why it’s OK to rip people off this way, and Oliver provides it, though it’s really Gallner who’s so strangely convincing. After years of playing the harassed or worried-looking horror victim, he’s grown into a quietly commanding presence, with enough rough edge that when Oliver starts adding armed bank jobs to the couple’s repertoire, it’s believable both that he could be so reckless, and that Caroline would go along with this leveling up.

Eventually, she seems more purely addicted to it that he does; she’s the one who’s explicitly looking for something, having left her single dad (Jon Gries) in her small town, searching for the mother she never knew on the side of her outlaw romance. There’s obviously more than a bit of Bonnie and Clyde here, but it’s not that Oliver can’t quite perform sexually, like Clyde Barrow; it’s more that his antiheroic performance doesn’t seem to be enough for Caroline, even as she consumes him ravenously in their off-duty hours. Weaving’s good looks give her performances an outsized presence; she really does look like a cartoonier version of Robbie, with her big eyes and parted lips, suppressed Australian accent and all. She often looks as if she’s ready to chomp, whether scenery or otherwise. As Caroline, she yokes her disparate desires together: She is truly lip-bitingly attracted to Oliver (and, again, Gallner has no trouble making the case for himself), but that’s inextricable from her yearning to locate herself, whether that’s somewhere on the run or through her wayward mother. After so often appearing the picture of final-girl resilience, it’s touching to see Weaving apply such rawness without the outlet of violence. No matter her lust for bank scores, Caroline doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

That doesn’t mean that people won’t get hurt. As with Snack Shack, Rehmeier can’t resist a sentimental streak. His genre instincts are razor sharp, only for him to solemnly lay down his weapons at crucial junctures, as if concerned that dazzlement will prove too distracting. Carolina Caroline recognizes the stylish kick of its characters’ movie-star abilities, the cinematic charge of attractive people taking what doesn’t belong to them; it’s too lovingly photographed and too keyed into Gallner and Weaving’s charms to become purely cautionary. Yet Rehmeier also does a remarkably clear-eyed work in his refusal to turn romance into doomy, cliché-ridden romanticization. Carolina Caroline recognizes something bittersweet in the short career of most criminals. Con artistry may be practiced by people of ages, but that much lying is still a young person’s game.

The SportsAlcohol.com Podcast: Best Movies of 2025

We may be well into the nightmares of 2026, but we can still look back on the movies that made the nightmares of 2025 slightly more bearable! The SportsAlcohol.com podcast committee convened an all-star panel consisting of Marisa, Sara, Becca, Jesse, Ben, Jeremy, and Nathaniel to submit lists of our favorite movies of 2025, which were then aggregated into a final list of the 15 best movies of 2025, counted down and discussed in this supersized but fast-moving episode. In addition to the primary best movies of 2025 list (which itself includes plenty of surprises), we also discuss our outliers — the movies each of us voted for that no one else did! So join us as we talk about the dramas, comedies, mysteries, sports movies, musicals, horror pictures, and unclassifiable stuff that moved us over the past year!

The SportsAlcohol.com Podcast: The Biggest Holiday Movies of 1995

We here at the SportsAlcohol.com podcast like to mix things up. We don’t always have to talk about summer movies! (Though it’s very fun when we do.) For example, we could also talk about holiday movies. Not exclusively Christmas-themed stuff, mind, but the biggest-grossing movies that came out in November and December of 1995, a year we previously covered in our summer rewind series. But things are different in the colder-weather months. There are more comedy sequels. More old guys. More life-threatening pregnancies depicted as zany. More cops on the edge, where they gotta be. And more of Ian Fleming’s James Bond Agent 007. So hold on to your angst, walk away from your loved ones in 30 seconds flat, and check out our latest half-nostalgic, half-skeptical rundown of the cinema of yore!

The Long-Awaited SportsAlcohol.com Anniversary Podcast Double Feature: 1985 and 2005

Hey! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? But that doesn’t mean that your friends at SportsAlcohol.com haven’t recorded a couple of terrific podcasts talking about summer movies of years past. In fact, we’ve laid down two; Jesse just took for-fucking-ever to edit and post about them.

First, we continue our tour through the summer movies of the 2000s with a look back at the summer of 2005, which has a shocking number of very good movies, if you ask me! Star Wars, Spielberg, Tim Burton, Cruise, Pitt, Jolie, and the Frat Pack, plus some clobberin’ time!

Then we take it way further back to 1985, where Star Wars was two years gone, James Bond was on the wane, Rambo was on the rise, and Chevy Chase was having the best year of his professional life while not appearing to have any fun!

The SportsAlcohol.com Podcast: Oscars Special 2025!

Do you miss Siskel & Ebert: If We Picked the Winners? Do you also like the movie Conclave, where a bunch of fussy weirdos are convened in an attempt to arrive at a consensus? Do you enjoy the Oscars, predicting the Oscars, making your own Oscars, and complaining about the Oscars? Do we have a podcast for you! In what has become an annual tradition, SportsAlcohol.com has provided all the will-win, should-win, too-SNUBBED!-to-win coverage you could possibly want out of an Oscars podcast in one convenient special that is shorter than any of this year’s Best Picture nominees! Marisa, Sara, Jeremy, and Jesse are here to sort through all the major categories, plus bonus rounds and sidebars on several more!

Listen below, or wherever else you get your podcasts!

The SportsAlcohol.com Podcast: Best Movies of 2024

It’s that time of year! Which is to say, a little late! The SportsAlcohol.com crew has to think about their entire year and change before they do a best-movies-of-2024 group list and podcast discussion. That discussion is now live, as a Valentine’s Day present for you, our loyal listeners. Hear Sara, Ben, Marisa, Jeremy, Nathaniel, and Jesse discuss our collective list of the best movies of 2024 at great length — plus a bunch of outliers that only made one list apiece! So gather around your favorite podcast-listening service, or listen/download below, and glory to our hot takes on the tennis matches, formal experiments, boundless appetites for blood, body horrors, Gas Town trips, frawd marriages, and other best movies of 2024!

The SportsAlcohol.com Podcast: Top Summer Movies of 1984

SportsAlcohol.com belatedly ventures into a brand-new, way-old decade for summer movie nostalgia. Having conquered the 1990s, and while continuing to make our way through the 2000s, we’ve added a new set of anniversary years into the rotation, examining summer movies from 40 years ago. For this summer (or for this year, anyway; technical difficulties delayed release), that meant exploring a different world, where gremlins, ghosts, jocks, breakdancers, and nerds all jostled for mass-cult attention.

The SportsAlcohol.com Podcast: Summer 1994 B-sides!

Having semi-recently completed our quest to cover all the biggest summer blockbusters of the ’90s, your pals at SportsAlcohol.com decided to circle back and take a look at some summer movies just or sometimes very far outside the 1994 blockbusters that kicked this whole series off more than a decade ago! Jesse, Marisa, Sara, Jeremy, and Becca got together to talk about summer movie ranging from sorta unconventional takes on superheroes to Oliver Stone going sicko mode to a noirish thriller you may never have heard of! It’s all here, from goths to preps!

The SportsAlcohol.com Podcast: Top Summer Movies of 2004

Remember 2004? Remember the summer? Remember the summer movies you saw and how maybe only one starred a superhero because you didn’t see Catwoman? Remember Tom Cruise going gray? Remember seeing the new M. Night Shyamalan movie at the Ziegfeld in Manhattan, your first time there since Brother Bear? Remember the IMAX in Nyack where you saw the new Harry Potter movie and how it was demonstrably better than its predecessors within about 15 seconds? Remember that you found out that real IMAX screen closed a few years ago? Remember Uncle Rico? Remember the Shins and Natalie Portman and Natalie Portman telling you to listen to the Shins? Remember that she was recommending stuff off of Oh, Inverted World even though Chutes Too Narrow was already out? Remember when Hugh Jackman wanted more than Wolverine? Remember animated prequels to Universal franchise-starters that didn’t start?

Remember Riddick?

SportsAlcohol.com remembers. And we’re ready to help you remember, too, with this action-packed look back at the summer movies of 2004!

This is the latest in a series and if you want the other 2000s-era installments in the series, here they are:

2000
2001
2002
2003

The SportsAlcohol.com Podcast: Oscar Special 2024

In the spirit of the Oscars’ natural excess, your friends at SportsAlcohol.com have prepared not one but TWO podcast episodes for you ahead of this weekend’s 96th Annual Academy Awards! In the first episode, Sara, Jeremy, Ben, Jesse, and Marisa go through the eight biggest categories with our predictions, preferences, and lists of SNUBS! In the second, we get a bit more granular on this year’s Oscars, covering categories related to animation, music, international film, and more!

You can stream both episodes below, or download them, or find us on Apple or whatever; we’re not picky.